Deep breath. Press the keys.

Our six-week-old daughter was hungry for milk and my six-week-old postpartum body was hungry for healing. I nursed the first and placed her swaddled, sleeping self in the swing so I could serve the second.

At the recommendation of many friends, I accessed an online program designed to help moms heal and strengthen their bodies after the dramatic and deep work of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. It was my first day of the gentle exercise program, and I was eager to begin the journey to regain strength and ability.

Deep breath. Press play.

Always one ready to get down to business, I half-listened to the introductory lesson while fetching my toddler a snack, partly to satiate his hunger and partly to keep him busy. But something in the video caught my attention. The instructor was leading us to firm up the foundation before we embarked on the “real work” and, to this end, she spoke about the importance of finding your core.

Well, of course I know where my core is, it’s right here.

I touched my hand to my stomach, proving that I was, in fact, an expert student who was ready to advance. The instructor went on to specify that we first needed to locate our core from the inside. To find the muscles of our core. To see if we could flex them, move them, tell them what to do.

She explained that, during pregnancy and birth, most women lose, to some extent, the connection between their brain and their core. For several reasons, a disconnect occurs. The instructor informed us that no real healing or strengthening can begin until that connection is rewired.

Oh, geez. Seriously? I don’t have much time. We need to get to the good stuff before the baby wakes up.

But ever the obliger, I did what I was told and attempted to find my core from the inside. Muscles around my core flexed as my brain transmitted the commands. But my core? It wasn’t listening. I grew frustrated, replaying the video, changing my positioning and trying, trying again.

Where the hell is it?

Hot postpartum tears—you know the kind—welled as my hope sank. I had, in fact, lost my core.

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Maybe you’ve lost your core before. Sure, perhaps physically. But have you lost the core of you? I have, which is why the truth of losing my physical core resonated so profoundly in my soul. I knew what it meant to lose the core. The work involved in finding it. The joy upon rediscovery. The fear of losing it again.

St. Catherine of Siena is famous for her charge:

Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.

I think, at first glance, many of us interpret this as a singular moment.

Aha! I have finally found who I am meant to be! Now my life will sail smoothly along this specific chartered course and THAT is how I will bring glory to God.

But, may I be so bold to suggest that maybe this beloved saint wasn’t suggesting a static discovery of one’s divine mission? Maybe, this call to be who God meant us to be is dynamic. Maybe all of our life is a discovery and re-discovery of who we are called to be. Maybe our mission evolves as the Lord unfolds His wonderful plans. Maybe our task is to not lose heart when we inevitably lose our core, but to be brave enough to go looking for it again and again.

Maybe our task is to not lose heart when we inevitably lose our core, but to be brave enough to go looking for it again and again. | Click To Tweet

As Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati said:

It was necessary to remain and not show any fear. We stayed, that’s all.

We all lose our way. We all lose our core. We lose awareness of who we are, what we like to do, what we’re good at, how to really grow closer to God, why our calling matters, how to care for ourselves, and what kindling rests dormant inside us, waiting to set the world on fire.

What matters is that we remain. What matters is that we don’t give up. With God’s grace, guidance, and goodness, we swallow the fear. We heal and strengthen. And when we remain together, side-by-side, we are even braver.

Deep breath. Press your hand into mine.

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Finding our core takes diligence. It requires bravery and intention. Commitment and focus. Confidence and humility. Prayer and work. Finding our core only happens when we show up, day after day, willing to devote the effort to re-discovering that which we have lost. It only happens when we continue to flex our muscles, to coax our brains into reconnecting with our bodies, to remember why it’s worth it, to rely more heavily upon Our Lord.

Finding our core, our center, our purpose, is what leads us to the heights of life.

When we find our core, our whole self heals and becomes stronger. When we know our core, we stand confidently in our mission. When we reorient our mind and our body, we are better able to respond to our calling. And when our calling overflows from the firm foundation of our core—from the deep understanding of who we are in Christ—we have everything we need to set the world ablaze.

Deep breath. Press forward.

Think about a time you lost your core. Maybe you’re looking for it right now. What did it take to find it? How has discovering and re-discovering your core changed your view of your divine mission?

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