I don’t need to tell you about what weird, unprecedented circumstances we’re living. I’m assuming you’re all caught up on the chaos of the coronavirus. So let’s not waste time diving into the specifics of the reality and the unknown.

What we do know is that this pandemic is causing many of us to feel an overwhelming worry about our health and other ramifications. Perhaps you’ve never really experienced anxiety about your health, and now you’re consistently gripped by chest-tightening fear that leaves you short of breath (and oh, crap, does that shortness of breath mean I have COVID?!).

We’re all thinking it. It’s fine.

You’re Already Doing the Basics, Look at You Go!

Hopefully you’ve begun (or continued) to implement some basic self-care practices that become particularly vital during times of overwhelming stress. We’re all wise to:

• Drink plenty of water
• Eat nutritiously (lots of veggies, decrease foods that trigger inflammation in our particular bodies, plenty of good fats, etc.)
• Sleep, as much and as well as we can
• Get outside each day
• Exercise
• Engage our brains by learning
• Make time for activities that bring us joy
• Get dressed and ready each day
• Maintain connection with people we love

and so on.

But these storms might require a little extra effort to weather well. And that’s what this post is about.

Here’s your friendly disclaimer letting you know that I’m not a doctor and that I’m in no way trying to present solutions to clinical anxiety. I don’t know how to do that, but therapists do, and you should see one! I’m just talking about the general freaking out we’re collectively experiencing right now. Ok, I think that covers all the legal bases.

My Recent Experience with Health-Related Anxiety

Personally, I’m exiting a long season of health-related anxiety. And the circumstances and challenges of that time remind me a lot of what our collective world is feeling in the face of this illness:

1. There was something legitimate posing a threat (not hypochondria or overreaction).
2. I knew it wouldn’t last forever (not a chronic illness), but I also didn’t know exactly when it would end.
3. It changed every detail of my day-to-day life—everything was touched by it.
4. Because of #3, it consumed much of my head-space.
5. It began a chain reaction of worry about unrelated things in my life.

So, yes, similar to what many of you are living through on a daily basis right now.

And it’s really tough.

Through therapy (please, if you need to see a therapist right now, do it—many are offering Skype-sessions), prayer, and personal counsel, I was given many tools to help me cope with the reality of my pain in the practical areas of my every day life. After all, I’m a wife, homeschooling mom, and worker—my world can’t stop turning just because I’m crippled with worry; and I bet your’s can’t, either.

9 Things that Helped During My Health-Related Anxiety

Throughout my journey with health-related anxiety, I took notes about what kept me afloat, beyond the basics I mentioned above. I hope these are helpful to you in your time of need.

1. Surrender Control (Over and Over Again)

For those of us who enjoy being in control of our circumstances, schedules, and feelings, this is difficult. And surrender here isn’t a trite admonition. It’s not easy. Surrender takes intentionality, effort, and persistence.

Most of us won’t need to surrender control over this just once. It will likely be a daily (hourly?) task.

Look at your life as it stands right now, in the midst of this. What is out of your control? Name it. Write it down. And when you’re feeling anxious, look at the list. Are you fretting over something on that list? Immediately begin trying to surrender it. Then, it will help you see what you actually can control and give you confidence that you are doing everything you can.

2. Rely (Heavily) Upon Others

This is another area in which our pride likes to give us pause. Most of us don’t rely on others well because we are used to sucking it up and doing the hard thing. And that is a great trait…most of the time.

But when we’re struggling with health-related anxiety, we have to rely on other people. There are 4 areas in which I learned to lean (like, full-body weight lean) on others:

1. Intercession — I got real honest with my friends and prayer groups about my suffering. When I became more vulnerable in asking for prayers and poured my heart out in desperation, they were better able to rally around me. They showed up big time for me, and that’s what carried me through. Now is the time to let facades fall and be upfront with the people who love you. Ask for their prayers, and be specific.
2. Practical help — I stopped saying that I didn’t need much help and I started asking for it. Sometimes that meant asking for extra help with the kids, sometimes that meant accepting a meal from a family member, sometimes that meant asking a friend to keep me company. In what practical ways do you need help in the midst of this? I realize we are all limited in what we can do right now, but we’re not helpless when we help each other.
3. Physical and Emotional Healing — I had to really learn to trust my doctors and caregivers. With health-related anxiety, it’s easy to question every piece of advice you receive, or to think someone is missing something. As someone who advocates relentlessly for taking charge of your own health, this was new territory for me. When my doctors were all in agreement that only “x” was wrong, and not “x, y, and z” like my spiraling-mind was telling me, I had to choose to believe them. So if your doctors are confidently telling you that you’re not exhibiting the symptoms related to this virus, do your best to believe them.
4. Discernment — When we’re in the throws of anxiety, it’s a struggle to grasp reality. For this reason, I knew my decision-making ability was a bit off-kilter. So I learned how to rely upon others in this area, too. Primarily, this meant my husband. He knows me best and he also desires only my good. And because we’re united sacramentally, he’s given even more grace to guide me through our life together. So if you’re married, start with your spouse. But maybe this means you lean on your spiritual director to help you move through the decisions that can’t stop being made just because there’s a global pandemic. Maybe it’s your very best friend. (Note that I’m not encouraging you to dish everything to anyone and follow their advice blindly. Hopefully it’s clear that, in this arena, reliance requires intimate knowledge, proven trust, and undeniable goodwill.)

3. Realize Your Habits May Need to Change

I couldn’t watch a lot of shows I used to enjoy. They triggered me.

I couldn’t read intense books, not even the classics.

I didn’t enjoy going out to eat with friends. It felt too overwhelming.

If you find yourself suddenly put-off by shows, books, or activities you typically enjoy because it all feels muddled by this right now, call it what it is, and be ok with it for now.

Maybe you can’t watch Grey’s because it’s too medical for you right now. Maybe you can’t read the best-selling novel about a family losing everything and starting over in a deserted city because that hits too close to home right now.

It’s ok. Make the shift. Re-watch Parks and Rec. Read the mind-numbing but delightfully trigger-free novels that are the equivalent to a Hallmark Christmas movie.

4. Distract Yourself

This is some good advice my therapist gave me. We acknowledged that distraction is not always the answer, and it’s not always the answer to health-related anxiety. But because we knew the exact source of my anxiety (it wasn’t deep-seeded coming from a place I couldn’t decipher) and we had a plan of action to address that source, distraction could be beneficial, especially if I felt a swell of panic.

And since you know the source of your worry (hi, covid) and we have a general plan of action to address it, distraction might help you, too, during those moments when the panic rises.

For me, this meant turning on a funny, light, or encouraging podcast (that would be The Popcast, Sorta Awesome, and At Home with Sally, respectively).

What can immediately direct your attention to something other than your worry? Have that at the ready.

5. Have One Non-Negotiable Each Day

There’s a lot we can’t control right now. Between working from home and our kids being home from school all day and trying to figure out school-at-home and anchoring activities cancelled, schedules are out the window and everything feels floopy.

So have one non-negotiable each day.

For me, my non-negotiable was a quiet morning prayer and reading time. I would wake up insanely early (worth it) to have time with hot coffee, my Bible, and a good book before the rest of the house woke up.

I was mercilessly unmoving on this.

Even if my kids woke up in the middle of my prayer time, I greeted them warmly and asked them to play for a while until I finished and could make them breakfast. Even if I had a busy work day. Nothing trumped this.

Many of my girlfriends are taking long, steaming baths each night right now to maintain their sanity. That’s a great idea!

Find your one thing that keeps you most grounded and cling to that unapologetically (I mean, don’t be a jerk, but also don’t set it aside because “it doesn’t matter.”)

6. Find a Person

None of this is normal. What we’re living and feeling is bizarre. Our emotions are likely changing from day-to-day. It’s a rollercoaster. It’s an unstable rollercoaster.

Who in your life can you come to without judgment? Who can you call or text in order to let out whatever you’re feeling? Who won’t think you’re crazy if one day you’re feeling pretty on top of this and the next you’re sobbing in your bathroom?

Find your person. Be real with them (and let them be real with you, obvi). Stating and owning our fluctuating emotions is cathartic; and listening to theirs will make you feel less alone.

7. Move

Another pointer from my therapist! After you experience a moment of intense stress, it’s so important to move your body.

When our minds and bodies are under stress, we enter fight-or-flight mode.

For our ancestors, this rise in adrenalin often occurred under threat of attack. We’re given this good bodily reaction to stress in order to help us flee from the danger (or fight it). Once we either engage or run from the danger, our bodies release a different set of hormones to help our minds and bodies recover.

But most of us never complete this stress cycle. For most of us, the threat of attack is in our minds. So when we begin to panic about possibilities, our bodies react by releasing adrenaline. Our hearts speed up. Our muscles tense. Our bodies are ready to fight! Our bodies are ready to run! This is good, this is healthy!

But because there’s not a deadly animal staring us in the face, we often don’t fight. We don’t run. We don’t respond physically to the stress. So we never get the release of the hormones that help us calm down and recover. We stay stuck in fight-or-flight.

And it is exhausting.

The book Burnout explains the science in much greater detail.

So let’s complete the stress cycle. When we perceive our bodies having a response to the threat we perceive in our minds (sickness, economic difficulty, isolation, etc.), we have to move. We have to fight or flee. So run, do jumping jacks, dance, do pushups, punch your pillow. Help the adrenalin move through your body so you can get all those good hormones to help you relax and recover.

8. Read (and Memorize) the Word

Now is the time to soak up the Word of God. He speaks to us in Scripture. His Word is everlasting and ever-new. What He spoke to the people of Israel is what He speaks to you now. What Jesus promised His disciples is what He promises you now.

Friends, the only way I survived my health-related anxiety was by ensuring my heart was dripping with the Word of God.

Read the Bible every day, however you can. If there’s a verse that particularly moves your heart, and you just know it’s what God is speaking to you during this time, memorize it.

And when worry wages war, put on the armor of Christ. Recite that verse. Speak that verse out loud. Remind yourself of God’s goodness and providence.

9. The Minutes Just Before Bedtime are Crucial

Take a minute and think… What have you been doing before falling asleep these last few days? Scrolling social media for the latest updates? Reading article after dreary article?

(Me too.)

And what does that leave us with? Racing thoughts. Hours spent trying to fall asleep but really just checking our phone again. Feeling sluggish the next day.

So I’m reclaiming a practice that was immensely helpful to me during my health-related anxiety: filling myself up before going to sleep.

Instead of checking Facebook just one more time before closing my eyes each evening, I read poetry (this is what I’ve been reading). Or I look at pictures of my children. Or I attend live-stream Eucharistic Adoration. I fill myself up with good things at the close of the day.

Our hearts deserve to go to rest each night contemplating beauty.

You’re Not Alone, You’re Totally Normal

If you’re suddenly struggling with health-related anxiety in the face of this pandemic, you’re not alone. And you’re totally normal. Many of us are in the same boat.

And while our worry is warranted, we don’t have to stay in a place of doom or defeat. We can be both realistic and rooted.

This is a one-day-at-a-time dance. I hope these steps help you get your footing.