I’ve only been married for a little over a year, so in the whole marriage department I’m pretty much a novice… But in my brief time as a wife, I have learned a lifetime of lessons (and there are only more to come!).  One of these lessons has been about self-sacrifice on behalf on the beloved.  On the day we exchanged vows, I placed my beloved, my hubby, above myself in the order of importance for the rest of our married life.  I vowed to constantly seek his good, to fill his life with beauty and blessing, and to labor to enrich his soul and his relationship with Jesus.  I promised to strive for all these things with the intention of helping him reach his ultimate happiness: Heaven.  As I brought my husband into my family, I swore to love him unconditionally and to put my own selfishness aside to achieve these goods.

Why?  Simple.  Because I love him.  Because I am grateful to God for allowing me to be David’s partner, his teammate, his cheerleader in this life.  And each day I renew those vows in my own heart because it is always, always worth it.

But it is not always easy, is it?  Laying our pride aside, forsaking our own comfort or preference for that of another, especially in a fallen world like ours where miscommunications are frequent and intentions are misunderstood and life is messy and chaotic and our little souls have those days when we just want to quit.  No, it’s not always easy.

It is in those moments, those trying instances in which our commitment is truly tested and in which we are called to love in a season of want, that there is the paradoxical opportunity for tremendous growth in total, authentic love.

In those times, it is often the simplest of efforts that yield the greatest rewards.  Our tiniest labors are, by the grace of God through the Sacrament, magnified into large expressions of love.

So whether you are wife who is enjoying a blissful time of marriage when everything is roses, or your marriage is undergoing changes, obstacles, or growing pains, or you are a young woman preparing for/discerning marriage, my hope is that this list will encourage you in your adventure of passion with your beloved and inspire you to seek his good.  Again, it is not an exhaustive list, and it is coming from someone who has much, much more to learn about this subject; however, I have found that these simple acts of charity have the ability to greatly enrich the life of a husband.  How do I know?  Because I have failed at all of them.  Miserably.  Multiple times.  And I have succeeded in some, and have reaped the wonderful harvest of these little seeds sown in love.  So for now, I’m running with it 😉

1. Express gratitude for his work and sacrifices.  Men sacrifice quite a lot for that which they determine to be a great good.  Often times, this means they are willing to lay down their lives for their God, their country, and their family.  In most cases, they lay down their lives by laboring to provide for the family, by stretching themselves to be the spiritual head of the household, and by setting aside their own comforts for the sake of the comfort of their wife and children.  Sometimes, we can get so caught up in what I am sacrificing for the family.  We focus on ourselves and how difficult the work I am doing seems to be, etc.  And I am not discrediting that work.  The work prepared for a wife and mother is full of life and growth and challenges and deserves to be acknowledged.  But if we fail to express our gratitude (not just think it or feel it, but to manifest it in some way so that he might know of our gratitude) for the work and sacrifice that our husband makes, then we miss an opportunity to build him up and affirm him in his work.

2. Don’t compare yourself, your marriage, your life, etc. to other people.  This is a necessary follow-up to #1.  Men make their sacrifices quietly.  Often times, wives are unaware of just how much their husband is laboring for the good of the family.  Husbands make these quiet sacrifices so that we might be happy.  Period.  In their masculine and relentless hearts, their great desire is to see us happy.  How wonderful that is, what a gift it is to a wife!  Unfortunately, we women have the ability to unravel those dreams with the strike of one swift sword.  The sword of comparison, that is.  When we express discontentment with the “way things are going”, the “cards we’ve been dealt”, what we have or don’t have, etc. etc. etc., typically we are just blowing off steam or “having a moment”.  But to a husband who works tirelessly to make his wife happy, these small statements have a big impact on his heart.  To him, you see, it appears that he has failed in his great desire to make his bride happy.  Instead, by expressing our contentment with life, our happiness with all that has been given to us, and our excitement for what lies ahead, we allow the glow of our joyful heart to touch his, to affirm that the sacrifices he makes are “paying off”, so to speak, because of the joy he witnesses in his spouse.  Ladies, this lights him on fire.  So be content, and watch him burn in his love for you and your family 🙂

Ok, so this post is already too long!  Verdict: break it up into two posts.

Part Dos Here

For now I’m off the battle the reality that we haven’t had school in ten days because of the weather…

Like what you read?  Find me here, too!

Bloglovin’ // Facebook // Twitter // Pinterest // Instagram