I looked down at my baby nephew, barely able to sit up on his own, and then panic-glanced over to the small granddaddy longlegs that was slowly making its way toward him.
My sister-in-law and I were sitting outside on our in-laws’ porch, watching her baby boy play nearby and talking about my belly-growth as George was making his presence known in my womb.
We both spotted the spider crawling toward the baby, stood up and stood over him, and decided something needed to be done.
Slightly hysterically, I suggested that my sister kill the spider. Just kill it! Kill it already! It’s crawling toward your baby!
Calmly, she picked up her son and looked at me sheepishly as she admitted:
“I know it sounds crazy, but ever since becoming a mom, I have such a hard time killing things. Like this spider! Isn’t that crazy?!”
“No, it’s not crazy – it’s sweet!”, I reassured her. But let me assure you that, in my mind, I was wholeheartedly agreeing with her apology and reiterating, “That is crazy. I mean, it’s a bug. Crawling toward your baby. Just kill the thing.:”
And for that, sweet B, I apologize. Because now that George is here, I totally get it.
Pregnant me thought my sister-in-law was being a little emotional. Current me thinks my sister-in-law was spot on.
Motherhood is a crazy force of creation that causes moms to get a wee bit insane. This is one of the side effects – a universal love and compassion for all things small and all things that have a mother. So pretty much all things.
Now, I have a hard time killing bugs. I cringe more when the news reports tragedies. I sobbed during Blackfish when the baby whale was separated from her mom.
And when our state’s basketball team beat their opponent in a nail-bitting finish, I cried, much to David’s dismay. He asked me why I was sad when the TV screen showed a defeated player sitting on the court, his jersey puled over his tear-filled eyes.
Choking back my tears, I explained … “He has a mom!”
I thought of this player’s mom, and how much she must love him, and how proud of him she must be, and how much, in that moment, she wanted to run down on that court, hug him, and let him cry on her shoulder, much like he did when he would scrape his knee as a young boy.
See? Motherhood makes you cray-zay.
I suppose these feelings won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. So I’ll just settle right in to the constant thoughts of people and animals and the fact that they have moms. I’ll be right here watching the bald eagles hatch with a tissue, should you need one.
Also, this.
XO
Ohhh this video…. Thanks for sharing!
This made me cry! So sweet, thanks for sharing!
Love this! I have always had a soft spot for bugs (weird, I know… maybe the result of 4 brothers?) but this made me a little teary. I totally get the basketball story! I may have done the same…
I am the same way…I cry like crazy at any Disney movie now–especially Tarzan. I cry at Publix commercials. I cry at Dancing with the Stars because I hate that anyone has to lose. I don’t kill bugs either…unless they bite me. With bugs, it isn’t that I am a mom so much as it is I just think of them being God’s creatures. They have just as much right to live peacefully as I have. I take the “Thou shalt not kill” to the very limits with that. I eat meat, but if I had to hunt it or raise it, I probably wouldn’t. Plus I do feel that if you kill a bug or animal for a specific purpose like food, it is ok, as long as it is respectfully done (I especially like the Native American style, where they apologize to the animal and thank it for its sacrifice) and the animal is USED for something. Killing something just because it is there, or in your way, or ugly isn’t fair, I think. BUT, I will say I never really thought about that before until after I became a mom 🙂 I always tell my son that he shouldn’t hurt bugs or animals because they are God’s creatures, and just because He gave us dominion, doesn’t mean we get to be ruthless dictators. We have to love, tend, and care for the world.
Oh Olivia, yes! I guess I’ve always leaned a bit in that direction anyway, but motherhood has taken it to a whole ‘nother level! I remember when my baby (first biological) was a few weeks old and postpartum hormones were on full force and my 4 year old (whom we adopted) was trapping a bug under a bucket- not hurting him, just trapping!- I had this huge internal rush of SUPER BIG FEELINGS! I couldn’t explain it and words can’t do it justice but I just wanted that stupid bug to be okay and be free! lol It was one of the stranger moments of my life.
awwwwww! this is adorable in a million ways 🙂