3. Ignore the little annoyances. As I’ve written about before, we all get annoyed from time to time, even by the one we love most. It’s a part of our fallen human nature. But who likes to be told that they are annoying? That’s right, no one. So when your hubby is doing/saying/trying something that annoys the heck out of you, take a deep breath and do your best to refrain from huffs and puffs, eye rolls, death glares, etc. He may not notice your small (or big) sacrifice, but take satisfaction knowing that you are avoiding potentially hurting his feelings.
4. Let him debrief after getting home from work. Men are naturally hard workers, and they are much better at “leaving work at work” than women tend to be. Nevertheless, guys still need to debrief after a long day on the job. Most days, however, when they walk through the door, we greet them with honey-do lists, a baby that needs changing, a long rant about our days, yada yada yada. I’ve found that giving my man even a mere 3 minutes to get settled at home once he arrives somehow enlivens and refreshens him to be more present for the aforementioned.
5. Flirt with him. My favorite older couples flirt all the time. You’ve seen them: the couple that has been married for 50+ years, who know each other through and through, who have weathered life’s toughest storms together, and who still have fire. They playfully banter, gush over one another, and give one another “the look”. I think this is part of what makes a marriage not only last, but thrive throughout a lifetime. Let us not forget, then, to flirt with our husbands, to make them feel like the only person on planet earth from time to time, and to remind them that they still give us butterflies. And he’ll flirt back, promise. 😉
6. Keep an ordered house (read: not perfect, but ordered). Of course, we would all love it if our homes looked like the cover of Good Housekeeping magazine 24/7, but that’s not reality nor is it reflective of life’s adventures. But I will say that keeping an ordered home makes a huge difference in the life of a family. And it’s simple, really. Just keeping dishes rotating through the dishwasher, putting little items away, and making sure laundry doesn’t pile up can make our homes feel heavenly (even if we haven’t dusted the baseboards all month ;)). This way, we are able to dedicate more focused time to our children and husband. Which leads us to…
7. Make time for quality time. With all life’s busy-ness, it’s easy to let time run out when it comes to being with our spouses. If we slip into unawareness, we tend to spend time with our beloved discussing only the practicalities of life, etc. instead of purely focusing on one another. Undistracted, focused quality time spent together is necessary for a relationship to flourish throughout the years. I know of some couples who set aside one night every week for their date night. Others set aside an hour each evening, once the kids are asleep, where they just sit and talk. Whatever works for your schedule and family will do, and your husband will be so grateful for simple time spent in your presence, continuing to learn about your heart, and vice versa.
8. Compliment him in front of other people. There will come times when it is appropriate to praise your husband in front of others. Take advantage of those moments. And not in a bragging way, obviously, but in a truthful and humble way. By affirming your hubby in front of others, he will receive a little ego boost and once again be reassured of your constant support and admiration.
9. Love your children. This is one area that I’m just starting to gain experience with, so I’m sure you other wives and mommas can attest to this even more. Watching you love on his children, your little loves that are a fruit of the love you two share, will fill his heart to the brim. I’m not exactly sure how this works yet, but I know that I’m already seeing it in my own hubby. And my, is it incredible!
10. Pray for him. Like really pray for him. Another silent way to love on your man. Bring his cares, his hopes, his struggles to the Lord on his behalf. Pray for his health, his happiness, and his holiness. Pray to be a good wife worthy of him. Pray for the specifics. Pray for the strength of your marriage and that your love might be sustained throughout life. Just pray, really hard, for he whom your soul loves.
Now you tell me – What would YOU add to the list? Share your wisdom! Fellas, am I totally off point? Let us know how to love you better 🙂
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So good, Olivia. So good.
Very good stuff!
I’m laying here at 4 am and can’t sleep (yay 35 weeks) so I decided to do some blog catch up and I love, love this post!
I’ll add one: Praise your husband’s character TO your children.
(I know, it’s a little early for your little one to understand such conversation. But the day will come when you are alone with George while Dave is at work… and there will be a part of you that misses him and maybe even resents that his hard work is keeping him away. When your toddler whines that he doesn’t want to play cars with Momma, he only wants Daddy, it will be very tempting to whine along with him. Or mutter under your breath. Or whatever. So resolve now that if you are tempted, you will instead sing the praises of that hard-working man.)
When my kids make a hard choice to do the right thing, I try to tell them that they are brave & courageous – just like Daddy. {insert illustration story from a time Chris did something brave} I’m thankful that my husband is strong, and honest, and patient, and has a great sense of humor. (That last one may not be one of the Fruits of the Spirit, but the Lord knows that it’s what I needed in a life-mate!) I praise those things in front of my kids!
For one thing — I think it helps my son think through relationships in an age-appropriate way. He hears over and over that those character traits are valuable to women. It helps my daughters, too, as they consider that Mommy picked Daddy not just because of his eyes or his legs or his kisses (because in the princess movies, it’s always the prince’s eyes and a kiss, right!?) – but because of his soul and his actions and so much more.
And for another thing — it’s good for my heart, too. Every time I utter those words, I’m reminded again and the cords of love are knit a little tighter.
And for a final thing — it blesses Chris, eventually, when it gets back around to him. Because it really is pretty darn cute when a four year old lisps, “Mama sthaid that sthe lovesth how you help sthick people at the hosthpital, becausthe God made you sthuch a sthmart doctor.” 🙂
Beautiful! Love these 🙂