Tween Talk

It’s been an interesting and exhausting year dealing with 18393560 snow days but the minions are still providing show quality entertainment for yours truly 24/7/365.  There’s something about the middle school creature that is utterly unbelievable yet entirely endearing at the same time.  How they do this?  I’ll never know.

"look, Mrs. Spears, I'm finished… … … It's a tiger."

“look, Mrs. Spears, I’m finished… … … It’s a tiger.”

Commenting on the crowded nature of the hallway in between classes: 

Male Student: “These hallways look like the streets of England.  I’m done with these Brits.”


Every. single. Wednesday. without. fail.

“Uh oh, guess what day it is?”

Refer to this.


While discussing picture day outfits amongst themselves:

Female Student: “Mrs. Spears, for picture day, can I wear…”

Me: “Something fabulous?”

Female Student: “Well, duh.”


deep sigh of wonder and longing: "popsicle day is the best day."

deep sigh of wonder and longing: “popsicle day is the best day.”

A frequent discussion we have during a review game we play, after which I go on to lecture them about entitlement…:

Me: “Alright, and the winning team in the test review game gets 2 bonus points on their tests tomorrow.”

Student 1: “And how many do the losers get?”

Me: “None.”

Student 2: “Ha, no seriously.  We get 1 point right?”

Me: “No, seriously. You lost.  You’re the losers.  You get nothing.”

Student 1: “You’re mean.”


While working on a project involving Scripture:

Female student: “Golly, the Bible is huge.  I’m going to write a book as long as the Bible.  Three chapters will be about you, Mrs. Spears.  Then you and Baby Jerusalem* can come on the Ellen Show with me!”

*What this particular student calls the baby


And the constant talk about the baby…:

“Is your belly button sticking out yet?”

“How many times a day did you puke?”

“Is your belly hard?”

“Does it feel like an alien inside you?”

“How do you know that it’s a boy?”

“Do you hate this stage when you don’t look pregnant but just look fat?”

Male Student: “You’re getting really hug-…pregnant.”


After coming in from lunch, I was walking around the room to monitor their work:

Female Student: (reaches out, grabs my stomach, and addresses the baby) “So what’d you have for lunch?”


Top baby name suggestions:

Wolfe Hunter

Benjamin Franklin Cash VII

Pablo Picasso

 Baby Yawn

While discussing St. Joan of Arc:

Female Student: “Joan of Arc is a she?  I thought Joan of Arc was a boy.”

Me: “No, hunny, Joan is a feminine name.  Joan of Arc is a girl.”

Student: “Oh.  Maybe I’m thinking of Noah’s Ark.”


While working on an art project: 

Male Student 1: “Mrs. Spears, for our project, can we draw a depiction of Jesus on the Cross?”

Male Student 2: “Yeah, from Black Friday.”




  1. Black Friday… DYING.

    And I think I would have the exact same reaction if I had a popsicle day. That reminds me of pretzel day from The Office (if you don’t watch, I’ll send you a clip, haha).

  2. Love it. It always amazes me how curious kids are about a new life cookin away in there. They have so many great questions! And if they just HAPPEN to guess the surprise name you have picked out for the baby, they feel like they’ve just entered a secret club and it makes them feel like a million bucks… then they remind you (and everyone around them) that they know the name every time you see them…(not that I know this from experience or anything lol…)

  3. These were hilarious! I’m sharing this with my husband, who is also a teacher.

  4. hahaha the black friday and “No, seriously. You lost. You’re the losers. You get nothing.” made me laugh to no end. I can hear you saying it.

  5. annnnnnnnd this is amazing. Thanks for the lol’s

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